Give It Up

Okay, so...Velena is dead :( So much for those stories I hear from people where they say, "I can't get my stupid fish to die!" Well, guess what people?? I CAN'T GET MINE TO LIVE! *sigh* I was at work the other day thinking about my bad luck with pets and wondering if I should try and get another fish. Maybe I needed more water conditioner? Maybe I needed the transfer from bag to tank to be ultra smooth? But I'd tried all of that! Finally, I said out loud, "I give up!" Most of the time I have bad luck, but sometimes I have a really cool moment...this was one of those times :D Just as I admitted defeat, Josh Groban started singing "Don't Give Up" from my iPod. I have to admit, I laughed out loud.

Then I started thinking...how many times have I said that? "I give up." How many times have you said it? I know for me, in the past I've said it about so many things! School, relationships, work. I have to admit, I almost gave up on life at one point too...but that's another story :) What I'd like to talk about is my most recent "I give up." Was it a bad thing? Hmmm...

I suppose you could say I'm a bit of a "relationship magnet." I love hearing about other people's interests and helping them out as much as I can. I'm a sucker for love stories...not Disney ones...real life true love stories. I hate to admit it, but it's true :P I constantly have people telling me who they "like," asking me if I think they look good together, and requesting advice. The last one really used to puzzle me. I've never been in a relationship before, so what would I know? I guess it's my outside opinion that they like to hear about. Besides, I've seen a lot of relationships go wrong before, and tend to have an idea on why. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind. In fact, I love helping people out with any advice I can give!

I was thinking about the whole thing the other day and realized that I currently have five "clients" asking me for advice about his/her boyfriend/girlfriend and what the heck should they do about this or that. It was one of those fan-freaking-tastic days where the warm sun was beaming, a cool breeze was blowing, and the birds were singing the Hallelujah chorus in the trees. Ya know...the weather that gets you a little love-sick? Under normal circumstances, the beauty of it all would have made me ecstatically happy, but on that particular day, I was feeling a little discouraged. There I was with five friends sharing their happiness with me over finding love, and I didn't have a clue as to what they were talking about. Love? Sounds great! But...whaaaa??

I'm a girl. Yup. It's true. I'm one of those creatures that really wants Prince Charming to come riding gloriously in on a gleaming white horse, ready to sweep you off your feet. No...wait. Change that...I'm not. I'm a girl, yes, but Prince Charming?? Uh-uh...ride on, Charmy, I've got a better idea. So maybe I don't want a Prince Charming...what do I want? I'll tell you. I want...

A SUPERHERO!!

I want Super Hottie to come flying in, his cape flowing behind him as he swoops down and rescues me from the evil villain Dr. Single-Pants. To be honest, once upon a time I thought I knew who he was. He was my hero. Come to find out, he wanted to rescue some other maiden in distress. So what now? Well, my automatic response was "I give up." I wasn't good enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not...well, you get the idea. What happens when the Prince finds a different Princess. Do you give it up? You betchya!

Whaaaa?? You're probably saying that to yourself right now, but let me explain. There are two kinds of "I give up" in this situation. My first "I give up" can be explained like this. Obviously I didn't fit the frame of the girl that Super Hottie wantedd, right? He chose someone sweet, pretty, and smart. So in my mind, that makes me stupid, ugly, and dumb. Wait a minute...is that right? Is there really only one sweet, pretty, smart girl in the world? No way! My initial "give it up" was a form of self-destruction. I tore myself down for not being everything that Super Hottie wanted. I gave up on myself, on relationships in general, and on any other superhero out there. This, my friends, is the wrong form of "giving it up." There is, however, the second choice. I finally  made this and have found more peace in the matter than ever before...and that was "giving it up" to Jesus...the Superhero of Superheroes.

God created us girls to like guys. God created you guys to like girls. That's just the way it is. Any other way is just twisted and wrong. Girls and guys are supposed to be together, and when they get married, it's for life. When pursuing a relationship, then, shouldn't you be absolutely SURE that you're getting the right Prince/Superhero? Think about it this way: God knows absolutely EVERYTHING. And when I say that, I'm not stretching any truths. He knows when happened in the past, he's knows what's going on now, and He knows what will happen in every second of the future. Yyyyyup! That includes knowing who you're going to end up with. Now look at yourself. You know some about the past, but can you really be sure you were born at the right hospital?? As for what's going on now, I know for a fact that I'm sitting here on my bed typing, Beenieman is doing homework, and everybody else is sleeping. But what's going on in Belize right now? Is there are party going on in Madrid? I don't know...could be! But the fact is, I don't know. Now for the future. I know that I'll be going to work tomorrow and planting fuschia's in #12...or do I? Who says I won't wake up sick and have to spend all day in bed? Or maybe my boss with have me work in #2 with Cranky. Long story short, I don't know anything about the future.

All that being said, do we really want to be the ones to decide which Prince/Superhero is right for us? I sure don't! If I pick, it's really a wild stab in the dark as to whether or not it'll work out in the future. If God picks, though, it's a sure win...and He already knows it! I mean, what if Rapunzel decided that she really wanted to marry the beast. Lol...sorry, that's a funny thought :D Or what if Louis Lane decided that Batman is a better match for her? Imagine the day she realized that Bruce Wayne isn't the awkward little newspaper guy she had a little crush on. She wakes up one day and realizes that she doesn't want to be rich...she just wants to spend time with her husband. Unfortunately, she can't, because he's off at some uppity meeting in Japan for the week. How would she feel then??

I suppose the point I'm trying to make is this. Don't "give up" when the love of your lif doesn't return the favor. "Give it up" to God and let Him let you know in His own good time who Mr. Right really is. I have no doubt that if you leave it in His hands, He'll give you exactly what you've always been looking for. I know, I know...it's hard to wait. Trust me, I'm waiting right along with you! But I made the choice to "give it up" and I'm confident that if it's God's will, Mighty Man will fly into my life and lay the world at my feet. If not, ya know what? It's okay! Jesus is the ultimate Superhero anyway :) He protects, He fights for, and He loves. Gee...what else could I be looking for??

To Be, Or Not To Be...Gracious...

Okay, I'll admit it...I have a VERY hard time being gracious. I think it's one of those things that I'm capable of, but I haven't put enough practice into it to be good at it. One area I found this to be true in is at restaurants. When food is prepared for me in a restaurant, I expect it to be done just how I like it. If it doesn't come out the way I planned, I tend to get upset with the cook, the waitress, and everybody else within 10 feet of me. I know it's weird, but everybody's gotta have some kind of pet peeve, right?
This weekend we're on a girl date up in Maine. Laddie brought me, Beenieman, Mickey, and Creepy up here because Beenieman was playing her cello in a church service and we decided to make it girl weekend! Good times, good times :) While we're here, Laddie had some friends that she wanted to meet up with for supper. We ended up at a very small, but very cute Italian restaurant.

For an appetizer, I decided on calamari and Beeniman picked the mushroom cap. The mushroom cap was delicious, but the calamari was...well, it was "meh." To me, it tasted a little old and more rubbery than expected. But dipped in the tomato sauce and paired with a jalapeno pepper, it was much better!

I have to say, I was a little disappointed and annoyed with the calamari, but decided to let it side and order my main entre. I was having the HARDEST time trying to decide what I wanted! There was a pasta with prosciutto and asparagus sauce that looked really good, but there was also a mushroom dish that looked equally delicious. I finally decided on the prosciutto and asparagus...

It looked amazing on my plate, and I was soooo excited to try it! Unfortunately, I started getting extremely frusterated with my choice. The pasta was undercooked, the asparagus was overcooked, and the whole thing was extremely over salted. I guess you could say I was a little upset with the cook. They had NOT cooked my meal the way I wanted it done. What's the point of going out to eat if you're food is worse than home-cooked, right? On top of that, I had to ask for a refill, instead of being offered. I'm not a huge water drinker, so to have my empty glass of pepsi ignored by our waitress made me quite unhappy.

I know, I know...I was being really selfish...and ungraciour. The little restaurant was packed tonight and our waitress had just started working there. Instead of thinking about how overwhelmed the cook may have been and how stressed our waitress may have been, I was only thinking about myself and how uncomfortable I was.
It may seem like one of those small things that doesn't seem to make much of a difference, but I think it really does. I didn't say anything to the waitress about being unhappy with my experience, but that's not what I'm worried about. I was my selfish thoughts that I'm concerned with..and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I, and I'm sure other people, have fallen into a habit of thinking that the world revolves around one person...ourselves. In reality, the world should revolve around one person...Jesus Christ. No, He's not here in human form anymore, but that's what we Christians are for! Jesus lives in us, and we should be doing our very best to act, serve, and think like Jesus. My thoughts certainly weren't anything like what Jesus' would have been. Instead, they were selfish and ungrateful for what I'd been given. I think this is problem that we should all be careful of in ourselves. I know my personal goal is to think of others more than ourselves...just like Jesus would have and did...many times. I wonder if Jesus ever visited someone's house and didn't like the food they were serving? Whether or not He did, I guarantee he wouldn't have/didn't reacte the way I did!
*sigh* As I come to the end of another post, I have one more thing I'd like to say. Remember Brandolese? My goldfish? Well, she died the night I got her. Yes, I'll miss her forever...I feel like such a horrible mother! But to make up for it, I decided to go for it again. Beenieman and I went back out last week and I got another fish. I don't have pictures up yet, but she is ADORABLE! She's gold, obviously, but around the edge of her tail and on the tip of her fins is black. She's a stylish little fishy, and I named her Velena. (If you've seen The Expendables, the name should be familiar ;) As of today, she's still alive and well, so I'll try and put pictures up soon! Ciao!